I remember
I guess everyone at some point stops and wonders about life and how one got to that point. I'm no exception. Lately I've been sitting around pondering about what had been my aspirations and whether I've even come close to any of them.
I remember long long time ago in another lifetime, when I was just a wee little girl, sitting with my beloved grandmother talking about the future. My grandmother raised me for several years. We didn't have a whole lot, but I think that was the best memories of childhood that I have.
My grandmother was the biggest influence in my life. She gave me hope and pushed me to dream big. One of the things that stayed with me throughout my life was her telling me to succeed. In anything that I chose to do, strive to be the best and show the world that a little girl who came from nothing can indeed make it on her own. To live well, and pass on the memories of our family to my children. She told me that the best way to prove wrong all the naysayers and those who saw me through their disdain and pity, is to become successful. That had been my driving force to venture where I was afraid, to compete, to give it my all.
I'm now much older, and am a wife and a mother. Still, I can see myself as that little girl sitting with grandmother, dreaming about what wonderful things I wanted to do with my life. I now sit with my own children who look at me with the same innocent adoration that I used to have for my grandmother. It saddens me a little. It saddens me that I looked away from the dreams that grandmother and I planned. It saddens me that I keep pushing my memories away into a dark corner in my head. It saddens me that I had been so selfish.
Is it too late? Perhaps. I can only wonder what could have been had I followed that path I had set for myself. There'se been a few detours and more than a few change in the grand scheme of my plan. All in all, can't say that I regret any of it. I have a new goal now. It is my responsibility to instill that sense of self and confidence to succeed in my own children.
I hope to have lived a full and meaningful life, albeit different from what I had thought it would be. My grandmother passed away several years ago, before seeing my little ones. Before I could thank her. Without saying good bye.
I still miss her.
I remember long long time ago in another lifetime, when I was just a wee little girl, sitting with my beloved grandmother talking about the future. My grandmother raised me for several years. We didn't have a whole lot, but I think that was the best memories of childhood that I have.
My grandmother was the biggest influence in my life. She gave me hope and pushed me to dream big. One of the things that stayed with me throughout my life was her telling me to succeed. In anything that I chose to do, strive to be the best and show the world that a little girl who came from nothing can indeed make it on her own. To live well, and pass on the memories of our family to my children. She told me that the best way to prove wrong all the naysayers and those who saw me through their disdain and pity, is to become successful. That had been my driving force to venture where I was afraid, to compete, to give it my all.
I'm now much older, and am a wife and a mother. Still, I can see myself as that little girl sitting with grandmother, dreaming about what wonderful things I wanted to do with my life. I now sit with my own children who look at me with the same innocent adoration that I used to have for my grandmother. It saddens me a little. It saddens me that I looked away from the dreams that grandmother and I planned. It saddens me that I keep pushing my memories away into a dark corner in my head. It saddens me that I had been so selfish.
Is it too late? Perhaps. I can only wonder what could have been had I followed that path I had set for myself. There'se been a few detours and more than a few change in the grand scheme of my plan. All in all, can't say that I regret any of it. I have a new goal now. It is my responsibility to instill that sense of self and confidence to succeed in my own children.
I hope to have lived a full and meaningful life, albeit different from what I had thought it would be. My grandmother passed away several years ago, before seeing my little ones. Before I could thank her. Without saying good bye.
I still miss her.
posted by g^2 at 11:29 AM
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